A Change (Or Four) Would Do You Good

I have this strange behavior; an odd way of thinking. I think it’s odd. It may be perfectly normal to someone else, but for now we’ll define it as “unusual”.

When I come to a point in my life where I feel the need to have a fresh slate from anything, I make something new. A new twitter handle, tumblr account, email account, username, etc…the list goes on. This has been something I have done for a while now. It can drive people crazy, I know. It drives me crazy, too, but regardless of how annoying it may sound?

It makes me feel better. It’s like I have taken in a deep breath and exhaled a whole lot of weight that may or may not have been there.

My reasons may range from anything from “I’m bored with the name”, “I wanted a new name”, or “I just need to start over”. Whatever the reason is, though, sometimes I wonder if there is something more to it. Is it some very mild case of OCD? A generic compulsive behavior? ADHD?

Yes, I know. It’s easy to jump on these particular bandwagons when trying to understand little ticks and quips about yourself and others. It does make me think, though. Like I said, this is not something that just recently came about, but something I have done for a number of years.

Regardless of what it is or what the true nature of the behavior may be, I think if it makes me feel better and happy, why not do it? I think if I were changing these sort of things every few days or weeks, there would be a more immediate need for concern, but it’s not like that.

Not at all.

Maybe it’s just the way I’m programmed where a different person does something else that makes them feel better; feel refreshed and renewed.

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Face It…

Why do I bother writing?

Why do I bother doing anything?

Is it all really worth it?

Why bother at all?

It’s never going to be perfect.

I’m never going to be perfect.

Am I really worth it?

Why am I so messed up?

Why can’t I do better?

Why can’t I be better?

I’m disappointed in myself.

I’m a disappointment.

Why am I crying?

I don’t know why I do anything.

I can’t explain so please stop asking.

I just want to sleep.

I don’t want to do anything.

Leave me alone.

Why am I so stupid?

Good Morning!

I’m doing fine.

I’m feeling really good.

I’ll be happy to help you!

I feel like I’m doing better.

I’ve got a handle on it this time.

I thought I was doing better.

Why is this happening?

I’m getting help.

I can do better.

I feel like everyone is laughing at me.

I feel like an idiot.

Do I really have any friends?

Who cares?

I care.

You’re worth it.

People love you.

You can do it.

It will be okay.

It all matters.

Everything matters.

Everyone matters.

Take a deep breath.

Cry if you need to.

Everything will be alright.

It’s Okay to Talk About It

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Today, in Canada, is Bell’s Lets Talk campaign. The day is dedicated to anyone who suffers from any form of mental health illness. If you are on Twitter, or are a Bell customer, here are the ways that you can help further mental health initiatives.

I am a firm supporter of this movement and do my best to utilize the above methods to donate. Mental Health Illness is still such an anomaly to the medical field because there is no uniform method of treatment. Right now, the treatments include being put on a variety of medications until you find a good fit, talking with a range of doctors, and suffering in silence.

For a good part of my life, depression was something I never understood. I would hear people say they were depressed, but wasn’t everyone? Didn’t everyone have bad days? I had plenty of days that I just felt completely drained and disgusting, but I got over it. Why can’t everyone do that?

Because having a bad day and depression (or any Mental Health Illness) are not the same.

These issues can be triggered by anything. They could be triggered by nothing at all.

No matter what, never be afraid to tell someone when you’re not feeling like yourself.  Do not be afraid to reach out and help someone who is suffering. Break the silence. Do not judge. Be supportive.

End the Stigma.